Friday, April 22, 2005

The Tale of the Ghost Pirate

Graduation and Beyond
by Darryl Rogers
Guest Columnist

"Now that I'm nearing graduation, I've begun pondering my future. What do I do once I have official documentation proving that I have correctly followed syllabi for four years? On one hand, I could be a schmuck in a cubicle; sitting in the same place and performing the same meaningless tasks every day, chuckling listlessly at dreary office humor, and finding pitiful solace in adorning my grey environs with pathetic reminders of my obsolescence and decay. On the other hand, I could return to college for a graduate degree; sitting in the same place and performing the same meaningless tasks every day, chuckling listlessly at dreary academic humor, and finding pitiful solace in adorning my brown environs with pathetic reminders of my obsolescence and decay.

But then it occurred to me--why put up with all that bullshit when I could be a FAT IRRESPONSIBLE SELFISH QUEEF WHO LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS AND PLAYS EVERQUEST ALL DAY?"

Haha, that was an entry in my Livejournal back when I was about to graduate college. Funny how young and naive I was back then. Those years I lived with my parents were the best years of my life. I made it to the level 60 cap with over 27 unique characters (or avatars), got married and divorced three times (No hard feelings BunniBlade!), and gained over 277 pounds on a diet of Mountain Dew, pizza, and ranch dressing (/pizza anyone?!?). But like all good things, those glory days sadly came to an end with the passing of my mother this past year. After the electricity and water was cut off, I decided it was time I made something of myself. While I might not be a "Tony Danza" by any stretch of the imagination, I knew that my unique life experiences might be useful to someone. That's why I, with a little financial support from my online guild, created Fat Irresponsible Selfish Queef, Inc (FISQ).

FISQ is a company dedicated to providing the opportunity for recent college graduates (and women!) to discover their inner manchild and find the oft-overlooked support that their parents should provide. To assist us in our mission, we also provide a team of legal experts for any of our members whose parents are reluctant to lend their support. I consider myself lucky for the amazing roller-coaster of a life I have lead; I have traveled from the peaks of Ak'Anon to the Tower of Frozen Shadow and back again--but now, I am pleased to serve you.

For More Information on the FISQ Corporation, please visit our website:

http://www.fisq.com
FISQ Inc.
"It's like being a child again, except now you're a grown man!"


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